Of Things Gone Downhill......

So....Things are not happy nor cheery for me right now. My life straight up sucks. I just thought I'd take a moment and blog about the man who is literally ruining my life and sucking the life right out of me. A couple months ago Phil and his girlfriend Jamie randomly up and moved to Burley, Idaho. He has been promising me over and over that he would send me the divorce papers. He never did send them, despite repeated nagging by myself. I told him I would do the paperwork myself, but he refuses to give me his address. He doesn't want to give me his address cuz then debt collectors would be able to find him! SO this means I cannot send him the divorce papers. Nor will he do them himself. I have done everything I can think of in my power to make this as easy and painless for him as possible. I filled out all the paperwork and emailed it to him. All he had to do was print it and sign it. That way he never had to tell me his new address. Fine. But no, apparently that's too hard too. He has promised me he'd do it over and over but I still haven't received the papers. I have even offered to drive to Idaho and meet him at a public place to give him the papers. That way he still had the option of keeping his new location a secret. But he won't even agree to that. I cannot make the man sign the freaking divorce papers! Dude I've offered to send him money for the notory and I've offered to pay for the entire divorce myself (even though this whole thing is HIS fault).

So then everyone keeps telling me its possible to get divorced without him signing. Ok, as true as this may be, I have other issues in which I will get screwed over. Phil and I bought a truck about a month before he cheated on me. We are both co-signers on the truck. The plan was for him to take full responsibility of the truck and I took our other bills/debt. Now, the problem is-if he doesn't sign in the divorce decree that he is liable for payment of the truck, then I have absolutely no legal standing as far as the truck is concerned.

Which leads to me to my next problem. This stupid truck. He of course has it in Idaho. I've been getting calls 1-3 times a week from the company that financed our loan. Phil hasn't made a freaking payment on the truck since August!!!!! He's so far behind on the payments that it is now affecting BOTH our credit. Each month my credit gets dinged worse and worse. Last week they told me they are going to repo his truck and sell it. Which is fine by me, except we are upside down on the truck. Which means even when they sell it, we still owe thousands. And since Phil has skipped town and won't answer his phone or call people back, they are going to garnish MY wages for HIS truck!!!! I really don't know what to do. The only way to get my name off the truck is to divorce him, but he wont divorce me or tell me where he is hiding.

I've had multiple people tell me to go up to Idaho and take the truck. But what people don't understand is, then I'm still responsible for payment for the truck. If I take it, then I really will have to find a way to pay for it. And like I said, we are thousands of dollars upside down on the truck. I have my own car payment along with all our other bills to take care of. I cant afford his truck in addition to my own bills!

And then there's the bank account. This last week I had to pay $140 for ONE FREAKING TANK OF GAS. That's an expensive fill-up, huh? What happened is I accidentally used our joint account debit card. (Dont judge me-I'll explain that in a minute). Ok so I freaked out cuz we only had like a $1.17 in the joint account. So I put $50 cash in our joint account so that my gas purchase wouldn't overdraft. (And no, I don't have overdraft protection on my account). Later I checked my bank account and Zions took MY money and applied it to Phil's personal account because apparently he's several hundred dollars negative and has been for months. I had no idea and no control over his personal account. His own account isn't connected to me in any way, shape, or form. But because he's a signer on our joint account, they considered it "his" money too, and refused to credit me back my $50. So of course my $25 gas purchase went into overdraft. It ended up being $90. (plus the $50 that I already lost to Phil's account). How retarded is that? $140.00 freaking bucks for a tank of gas! I went to the bank in tears about it and they couldn't do anything so I just closed our joint account.

Ok...some of you may be wondering why I still had a joint account. I promise I have my reasons. Stop judging me. Phil and I are still on the same auto insurance, which comes out of our joint account automatically every month. Now, Phil and I have both been splitting the cost and putting the money into the joint account to share responsibility. I didn't want to cancel the joint because that meant I'd have to put his truck insurance to my own personal bank account for insurance payments. i didn't want to be responsible for payment of his insurance too. And yes, he did pay me for the most part. Not anymore though. He's becoming more and more of an asshole each day. Anyway, when I cancelled my joint account last week, I had to tell Allstate to withdraw the insurance from my own personal account. Which sucks cuz I know that Phil isn't going to put money for his portion in my bank account. So now I'm gonna end up paying for his freaking auto insurance too. Fair, huh!

Ok, so now this is where people start to tell me "just cancel his auto insurance" yeah, not as easy as that. Because my name is on the insurance and the truck, I cant just stop paying for the truck insurance. What if he gets in an accident? I'm required by law because we have a loan, to keep the truck fully insured. I'm screwed no matter what I do. Plus, my insurance rate will go up with just my own car. (cuz now we have a multiple car discount).

So what is a girl to do? I'm miserable. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. Even though we've been separated since April and he's living in another state, he's still managing to ruin my life. I haven't been sleeping. I've made myself physically ill with the stress. I've become a jerk! I'm so mean to all my friends and loved ones. I keep taking out my pain and anger on those i love and I apologize. I just am constantly upset. I've never felt this way in my life. I'm so bitter and angry and sardonic. I have several cousins that are getting married or just barely got married and I'm so bitter that I have to bite my tongue from screaming. I want to shake them and say DON'T DO IT! Marriage is the worst thing you can do! Isn't that horrible? I had so much fun with Phil that it breaks my heart that he's killing me slowly. Right up until the day he left me. I remember it perfectly. It was the morning of April 26th. He told me he loved me and promised he would love me and only me the rest of his life. Within hours he was packing his bags and left me. Wow. Its amazing how life can change so dramatically so quickly. I'm seeing his true colors though. I'm glad he did this now instead of after we had children and a home. I thought we could handle the divorce like mature adults, but apparently not. He's running and hiding. He won't answer my calls or texts or emails. He wont tell me where he lives so I cant mail him the divorce papers. He's not paying any bills so everyone is calling me trying to get money from him. (His dentist and doctors call me too). I'm so tired of it all. I loved Phil with all my heart and i never thought he would be capable of hurting me so very badly.

If anyone has any advice, I'll gladly listen. Please just don't judge or act like I'm a retard. I'm so tired of people saying "just take the truck!" or "just cancel your accounts" when its NOT that easy. Its like people don't seem to think I've tried to think of everything I can. But any new ideas I'm open to. I really don't know how I'll handle it if I get my wages garnished because Phil is to stupid than to get a job and pay his own bills. And no, I cant afford a lawyer. Im flat broke.

I hate this depressed rut I'm in. I start crying all the time randomly for no reason. And yes, I'm taking my meds. I can't imagine how I'd be acting if I weren't medicated right now. I even double up my Zoloft some days just to get by. I'm a strong, intelligent, secure woman. But he's slowly breaking that down. He's turning me into something I'm not. I'm insecure. I wonder why people can't love me. I wonder what I did to make him hurt me like this. I start blaming myself when I know that I didn't do anything wrong. He's hurting me so bad and he has no idea. He is changing what makes me "me." I have moments where I just want to step in front of a semi. I just wanna give up. I can't handle it anymore. How could the one man I loved so much I devoted my life to hurt me so deeply? I just don't understand it. Even as I type this I have tears rolling down my cheeks. I know the divorce was not my fault. Oh wait, what divorce? When people ask me what I want for Christmas, all I want is a divorce. All I want is to lose all ties with Phil. I want him to stop ruining my life. I hate him for what he's doing. I hate that he's having fun, and having sex, and doing whatever he wants without responsibility. Yet...I love him. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I wanted to have his babies. But now...all I want to do is move on. I want a new life. I want him to divorce me. I want him to cut these ties so that I can finally start my own new life. Is that too much to ask? Sometimes I wonder.... As bad as I hate myself and my life, I can't bring myself to believe that I really deserve this kind of misery...

Thanksgiving Weekend

Happy Thanksgiving Weekend and "Black Friday!" This week has been pretty good. I had my birthday Monday, I'm now 26 years old. ewwww. But my birthday was really nice. Everyone at work was especially nice to me. Kind of a nice change of pace. :P I was very pleasantly surprised at how many calls and texts and emails I got. I am way more loved than I deserve! But I love you all and thanks for your thoughts!

Wednesday night Eileen came over for me to put fire engine red streaks in her hair. I still haven't seen how it turned out, but we had a good time bonding. I also put my hair in curlers for Thanksgiving. I looked like Shirley Temple. I'll add some pics below.

Thanksgiving was a blast! I had a wonderful meal with family and friends. I got a bunch of pics that I'll add below as well. My mom put up our Christmas tree. Its a really pretty blue one. Princess loved exploring the boxes. Today is "Black Friday" and my mom woke me up at 4:00 am so that we could go to Shopko. The line was wrapped around the building. Its my first Black Friday where I actually got up to go shopping. The customers at Shopko were actually quite nice. Target and Walmart however, not so much. The people would push and shove and practically take stuff out of your hands. I didnt care for that so much. If it werent for the amazing deals, I wouldnt have gone at all. I'm soooo excited for Christmas now! I picked out my present (and actually had to pay for half of it). I know it ruins the fun when you know what you're getting but lets just say its worth it cuz I'm soooo excited! Even if I am forking over a bunch of money myself to help pay. Yay!

Anyway, here are pics from the weeks events! Hopefully I'll still have more later this weekend. I'm going to a birthday dinner with Rusty tomorrow too. Yay! I love Thanksgiving weekend. Freaking rocks! I hope it was great for you all as well!!

Eventful weekend

So this was a pretty exciting weekend! I imagine my idea of exciting is lame compared to the majority of people...but I'm still enjoying my weekend. I spent the majority of the weekend watching Grey's Anatomy Season 2. My friend got me interested in Grey's a few months ago, and I decided I needed to start from the begining and catch up to the current episodes. So I finished season 2 tonight. AMAZING! So much blood and guts! I freaking loved the intense drama.

Anyways...that was the majority of the weekend.


Next item up...


Hooray for Twilight!! AMAZING!! I very much enjoyed the show. I went into the movie with kinda low expectations. I have a LOT of negatives about the movie, especially the cast, but overall I still enjoyed the movie despite my gripes. I have seen it twice and I still want to see it again and again. When me and some friends and family went the other night I saw these awesome shirts that said "OCD" (Obsessive Cullen Disorder). I totally want one! :)


Does anyone remember Mystery Science Theater 3000? Where the man and the robots watched old B movies and commented about them and made fun of it the whole time?? I could TOTALLY go all MST3K on Twilight! I made this lovely re-creation of my MST3K Twilight vision:

Can ya see the tiny little bodies that I drew on the front row?? Thats me! Making smart aleck comments about the movie. Dang I'd be fanastic at it! :) Maybe I can start my own career! LOL Especially with Eileen as my cohert. Good times. :)

And of course this weekened was the holy war! BYU vs U of U!

GO UTES!!

My family came over to watch the game. I had to capture my brother and his wife and my nephew all dressed up. So cute!!

And here's the picture of the girls...minus Crystal who couldn't come. :( We missed you Crystal! I'll be sure to get a pic of me and her at Thanksgiving.

I hope everyone else had a good weekend too....and dont forget! Tomorrow is my big day! :-D

Drumset for Sale!

I really need to sell my drumset. If you or anyone you know may be interested, please contact me. I'm supposed to sell it before Christmas if possible.
Spread the word for me! Thanks :)

White Pearl Drum Kit with Sabian Cymbols. Remo heads on top, with the original Pearl heads on the the bottom. Comes with throne and drumsticks.
Asking $400 OBO.
Email: princess_shelye@yahoo.com
Phone: (801)502-9651

Smartest Nephew EVER

I got new shoes! I know most people dont care about trivial things like shoes...but I DO! :) Anyone that knows me is probably thinking "DUH." I tried counting once and gave up. And I've gotten tons more since I last tried. I'm addicted to shoes! These are my new Sketchers Running Shoes:

Princess Really likes them too!

I should be a shoe model! LOL...for kids


Other news...I really need to sell my drumset. Anyone know of anyone that may want a drumset?? Its in fantastic condition considering how long I've had it! Some of the drums have the original Pearl heads. Let me know if anyone is interested in purchasing this fantabulous item.

While I was taking photos to post online to sell my drumset, I got some darling photos of my nephew Jarren. I love him! He's so cute! And SOOOO smart! He was a riot playin on these!

And now, heres Jarren singing the itsy bitsy spider! He did it all by himself! So smart! Have I mentioned this kid is only 2 years old? Well..almost 3. He'll be 3 in about a month. So stinking cute!

Now heres a clip of Jarren doing jumping jacks. LOL it cracks me up. He can do the leg motions...OR the arm motions, but not really both at the same time. And yes, I am very easily entertained! I could have stayed there singing songs with him for hours! He probably knows more songs than me

Here's Jarren singing "Do as I'm doing"...He didnt know this one as well. I'm still impressed!

Here he is rockin' on the drumset! I know he's gonna be sad when I sell them.

And here is the most precious one of all! He's singing "I love to see the Temple, and then he recites the Pledge of Allegiance!

Now tell me that isn't the cutest thing ever! I know he didnt get every single word, but you show me any 2 year old that can recite the freaking pledge of alligiance. CRAZY! Bob and Jamie have done an amazing job raising this boy. And i'm so excited for my new nephew Colton Scott Goudy to be born next year!

Final thought...how come no one ever comments on my blog anymore? Or do people just really not read it?

Crafty Shel!

So I haven't posted anything lately. My life has been pretty uneventful lately. Same Stress Same garbage, different day. I've taken on an artsy-ish project. I havent done anything crafty in years so who knows how it will turn out. Its kind of an experiment. I'm going to attempt to make a purse out of pop tops!

I have some awesome florescent rainbow yarn and I'm stringing the poptops. I will stitch them together after i make a few strings of them.

Here's an example of what they turn out like. I'm sure mine wont look anything like this though! I suppose I could do a belt or a necklace. How bout a bra?! :)

So other big news, its almsot my birthday!! I'm turning 26. Which of course rounds up to 30 so basically I'm turning 30 in 2 weeks! CRAZY!! I'm getting so old. I went birthday shopping last night with my momma and she bought me a new coat. Dude, this coat was only $15!! I know its not the most flattering coat, or the most high fashion. But dude, $15 bucks! Can't beat it :) Look how cheesy and happy and cute!

Ok....so this is old news, but I have the cutest nephew EVER! He's not even 3 years old and he's the smartest little kid I've ever seen! He is so adorable and I love his little voice! He has the cutest giggle. :) Just as Bobby said, his smile could make anyone feel better!


Tickles!!!

More randomness...I've decided my favorite flower is the lily. I had no idea how many kinds of lillies there were! Oriental, Sego, Water, etc. TONS! And I love them. :)

If I ever get married again, I think I'd definitly consider these!

So, I got in a car accident last week. I am so tired of accidents. It seems like my car has a great big target sign saying "HIT ME!" I've decided I need a new car because I'm invisible in mine. I'm thinking something big, bright, maybe even red. I need something NOTICEABLE! I need a vehicle that people will SEE...something like......
A hot red LIFTED jeep!

I know I'm slightly biased because I am pretty much the coolest person I know...but dang I'd look hot in this jeep!! I would need a freaking rope ladder to get in the thing, but I would seriously look hot! :)

On another really random note...I love random pics of lips. I have an entire folder on my computer dedicated to just pictures of cool eyes or lips. I found a few with sprinkles that I thought were pretty fun.

I thought to myself, how hard can that be? So I put some gewy lip gloss and a bit of honey to try and do it myself. Yeah....I didnt work very well. I guess the term "dont quit your day job" applies here....I dont think I have lip modeling (or any modeling) in my future......

LOL ok that just looks gross.....they're all falling off. I had sprinkles EVERYWHERE when I was attempting to do this. :-S

So yeah... I wont be quitting my day job. :)

Am I jumpin around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?

So... I was telling my buddies about this video clip the other day so I just HAD to post it. Its from the movie "Super Troopers." These highway patrolman get bored on the job so they make up games. In this clip they are trying to break the record of saying "meow" at least 10 times in a conversation with the guy they pulled over. Its so classic!

Meow you listen up! :)

Halloween Pics

Visits from the cutest nephew ever!

Okay...I LIED!....

THIS is my favorite commercial!

My two favorite commercials!

Yeah, I admit it...I'm a nerd. My two very favorite commericals are both fedex commericals. Best one-liners ever!

"Like a lawnchair!"



AND... "Well said Mr. Turkeyneck!" HAHA I LOVE IT

Recycling

I think these would be pretty much the coolest cubicles ever

I do like this phone...I bet it doesnt ring as much as mine does :)

That is pretty much the coolest chair ever

Yay surge protector! :)

10 Reasons...

Top 10 Reasons Gay Marriage is Wrong
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning. Also apparently those homosexual animals have picked up some unnatural behavior.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

All I can say is....

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!

SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!

New Twilight Trailer! YAY!!

ONLY 41 DAYS! YAY!

Lake Pics

So, I promised a couple months ago to add more pics of my summer vacays when I got them. So...here they are! And...um..HOLY CRAP! I need to go on a diet or get on a treadmill or something. SICK!! :) But freaking good times! Note how sunburned I am when I went to Lava Hot Springs? That was a sad sad racoon face I had....

Sandra's family was so amazingly generous. I dont think I've ever met such nice people in my life! We're all gonna go do the alpine slides this winter. Cant wait!

We went to Lava Hot Springs in Idaho to celebrate Sandra's birthday. I gave her this jumbo pack of gum for her birthday cuz she goes through gum like a madwoman! :) Holy crap I got so sunburned. I had some awesome racoon eyes from the sunglasses. eww

Here we are at Bear Lake to celebrate Labor Day...Kinda. we decided to go the weekend before labor day to avoid lots of people and whatnot. Good thing too, because it ended up raining all weekend for labor day. that woulda been sad! The weather was gorgeous the weekend we went! I'd never been to bear lake before and it was an absolute freaking blast!!! We spent the day on the ski doos. My thighs were so sore for a week afterwards from clenching trying not to fall off. Which of course only worked for so many hours. Eventually at one point, we hit a wave just right and I went flying. Good times!

Dude, if I could afford one of these, I would totally do it. SO FUN!

In remembrance of Summer 2008

RIP!!

:( I'm not looking forward to being cold and wet all the time. I really need to get out of Utah. I was not made for cold weather!